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Smallest Stone

from S​/​T Demo by END ON END

/

lyrics

what were you supposed to think?
bent head, servile pose, over oven, or kitchen sink

locked behind your bedroom door with YOURSELF, with your FEAR, with your UNTAMED WAY
your heart still growing, beating, yearning, for reciprocation, every day

so you bury yourself in your april gardens, and up sprouts me --
lifted onto your old, green soul,
to give me love you’d never seen
you die your deaths in the shallow breaths,
in the culvert of that love and fear
and your overcrowded head somehow leaves room for everybody but yourself

never granted the gentle night
never a respite from the self-sight
never danced inside your own sunlight
never out from under the shadow of world-fright

but you, you grew
and i grew too, when you were two days into the sick,
pins and tumblers just wouldn’t click
and when you still can’t fight it now,
a decade-old fear comes back around
but i would carry you on my back for miles before you suffered alone again

“she would smile, to show me how, and it was the saddest smile i ever saw”

— charles bukowski

credits

from S​/​T Demo, released April 19, 2019

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New Morality Zine Chicago, Illinois

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